How to support your child with psoriasis

A significant proportion of people with psoriasis first develop it in childhood.  As a parent it’s incredibly hard to watch your child struggle and you can be left feeling quite helpless.  Here are my top tips for supporting your child:

Listen

Your instinct will be to try and fix things.  But you can’t.  Listening is the most important thing you can do.  Your child needs you to hear how tough things are.  Reflect back what you heard so they know you understood:  “It sounds like things were pretty tough today”.  If you don’t know what I mean then watch this short animation about empathy.

Prepare them

People will ask questions, point, stare, grimace.  Unless you plan to keep your child at home or covered up for the rest of their lives then get them prepared to deal with unwanted attention.  Teach them the Explain-Reassure-Distract method and practice, practice, practice.

Help them get control

Encourage them to speak in clinic appointments and take responsibility for their own treatments.  Try not to nag and remember to give lots of praise if they do their treatments by themselves.  For younger children consider using a reward chart.

Build their confidence

Tell them they’re wonderful and all the reasons why.  Are they funny, kind, clever or creative?  Your child is much more than skin so remind them of that.

Don’t force them to uncover

Don’t make them show their skin if they don’t feel ready.  It might not look awful to you but it takes a lot of courage to show skin covered in psoriasis to the world.  If they’re not ready it will just be horrible.  So what if they want to wear trousers instead of shorts?  Join them!

Inspire them

Watch movies with inspiring characters.  Read books where the main character has imperfections or even psoriasis.

Get support for yourself

There’s nothing more painful than seeing your child suffer and having no control.  Seek support for yourself; try mindfulness, reach out to friends or join a forum.

Thumb to finger relaxation

IMG_1472The ability to relax can be very helpful, especially when you have a chronic illness like psoriasis.  If you suffer with pain then learning to relax is even more important.  Pain leads to tension which can lead to more pain, more tension on and on in a vicious cycle.Slide1

Relaxation can help with the tension and stop pain from getting worse.  It’s a skill like any other and requires lots of practice.  It’s important to practice at times when you aren’t tense as well as using it as a strategy to cope at more difficult times.  The more you do it, the more effective it will be.

There are many different ways to relax.

This is one method I love.  You can use it when you are tense or irritable, when your pain is getting worse and before bed to help you get a good night’s sleep.

Thumb to Finger Relaxation

Get comfy and remove distractions like the television and your mobile.

Touch your thumb to your index/pointer finger.  Keep it there and think about a time when you felt physically tired in a healthy way, for example after exercise or a strenuous activity.  Imagine you have just swum several lengths or jogged some distance.  Spend a minute or so remembering that feeling of ‘healthy fatigue’.

Touch your thumb to your middle finger and as you do, remember a time when you felt loved and loving.  It could be a warm hug or embrace or a touching conversation.  Spend a couple of minutes remembering that feeling.

Touch your thumb to your ring finger and as you do remember the nicest compliment anyone paid you. What did they say?  Try to accept that compliment now.  Truly believe it and pay the person who gave it to you the respect of accepting it whole-heartedly.  Remember that feeling for a minute or so.

Touch your thumb to your little finger and as you do remember the most beautiful place you’ve ever been.  Visualise it in your mind.  Remember the scent and noise, the ambiance and the temperature.  Enjoy this image for a minute or two.

That’s it.

You can do this exercise anywhere and it only takes around 10 minutes.

If you enjoyed that, why not try a mindful minute.

Please comment below or share if you found this useful.

With thanks to my beautiful hand model in the photograph.

Sun, Sand, Sea and Psoriasis

image

It’s beach weather and that can be very stressful for people with psoriasis. Whilst most people are thinking about sand castles and seashells, we are thinking about skin, skin, skin.

Our options for the beach are:
* Stay away
* Go but cover up
* Brave it in beach attire

Neither option is the right one and I have done all three at various times in my life. Here are my beach tips whether you decide to cover up or strip off.

1. Pick the right swimsuit. In my time I have worn long surf shorts with a tankini top and I also own a stylish modestkini (yes that is a thing!). I wear a wetsuit to swim in the sea which is quite sensible on the Welsh coast even when your skin is perfectly perfect.

2. Wear sunscreen. Whilst the UVB rays can be helpful, burning never is.

3. Try waterproof camouflage make-up. I spent a wonderful afternoon with a Red Cross camouflage make-up consultant and I came away with a prescription for my exact skin colour. The service is now provided by Changing Faces. I urge you to book yourself in and see what a good concealer can do.

4. Use a few windbreaks. It will give you privacy, as well as keep the sea breeze from chilling you.

5. Let your children/partner/beach buddy bury your legs in the sand. Cover your plaques, exfoliate and keep them entertained at the same time.

6. Be prepared for comments and questions so it doesn’t ruin your day if someone asks about your skin. Read this for more advice about dealing with unwanted attention.  This blog post might help too.

7.  Identify your thoughts that are making you feel anxious.  Try some CBT techniques to challenge them.

Enjoy!

Be mindful while the kettle boils

One Minute of Mindfulness

As I wrote in an earlier post, mindfulness can help with psoriasis (mindfulness and psoriasis).

This is a simple mindful exercise you can do whilst waiting for the kettle to boil.kettle

Put the kettle on and then focus all your attention on your breathing. There’s no need to slow down your breathing, just leave your eyes open and breathe as you normally would. Count at the end of each out breath.

Your mind will wander, that’s normal, so be ready to notice that and bring your attention back to your breath.

Feel the sensations of each breath as it flows into and out of your body. Notice the sensations in your nose, your rib cage, your chest. Notice the temperature of the air as you breathe in and then again when you breathe out.

If your thoughts drift away don’t worry. Simply notice that it’s happened and come back to focus on your breath. In and out. In and out.

Continue this until the kettle has come to a boil.

And that’s it.

It seems a simple task but it will have a powerful effect on your body. Notice how you feel afterwards and the more you practice the easier it becomes.  Mindfulness can help with anxiety, depression and stress and may even help your skin.

You can use this exercise many times throughout the day, whenever you need a cuppa!

Mindfulness and Psoriasis

strawberries_strawberry_fruit_214340I often teach mindfulness to the people I work with. People who are struggling with painful and distressing symptoms find it a useful tool in helping them to cope.

Our brains are so complex and so busy and our thoughts can have a powerful physical affect on our bodies.  Remembering a stressful incident at work can raise your blood pressure, thinking about the presentation we have to do in a months time can cause a surge in adrenaline.  We have amazing brains.  A picture of a delicious cake or juicy strawberries can make us salivate, a photograph can physically arouse us.  But there are times when we need to quieten it down a bit.  To have a rest from our thoughts.  Mindfulness can help with that.

There are many great apps and podcasts to help you practice.  I would recommend watching anything by Mark Williams on youtube.  Try this video if you have spare hour.

I would also recommend Palouse Mindfulness  This is a fantastic resource which takes you through a six week course.  It’s free and there are no catches.  Try listening to the Body Scan exercise.

If you want to start with something simple, try a mindful minute.  You can do it whilst waiting for the kettle to boil.  Please comment below and let me know how you got on.

CBT and Psoriasis

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a commonly used psychological approach to treating a wide variety of conditions such as depression, anxiety, phobias and more recently has been used in physical health conditions. The basic idea behind this therapy is that the way we think affects how we feel and our behaviour (what we do or don’t do).

For example:

Situation A

It’s the second week of July and so far it has been a great summer. Up until this point Rebecca has been wearing long sleeves and trousers to hide her psoriasis but today she can take the heat no longer and has decided to wear a skirt and t-shirt to her friend’s house. She catches a bus there and on the way a group of school children behind her start laughing. Rebecca thinks, “Those kids are laughing at my skin. It looks so awful. They must think I’m disgusting. I shouldn’t have worn a skirt and short sleeves.” She blushes and feels hot and embarrassed. She jumps off at the next stop, walks home in tears and changes into trousers.

 

Situation B

It’s the second week of July and so far it has been a great summer. Up until this point Rebecca has been wearing long sleeves and trousers to hide her psoriasis but today she can take the heat no longer and has decided to wear a skirt and t-shirt to her friend’s house. She catches a bus there and on the way a group of school children behind her start laughing. Rebecca thinks, “Teenagers seem to find everything so funny. I wonder what they are laughing about. I bet they are talking about boys. I can remember being like that.” Rebecca starts to daydream and remember happy times from her youth. She arrives at her friend’s house feeling happy.

 

Situation C

It’s the second week of July and so far it has been a great summer. Up until this point Rebecca has been wearing long sleeves and trousers to hide her psoriasis but today she can take the heat no longer and has decided to wear a skirt and t-shirt to her friend’s house. She catches a bus there and on the way a group of school children behind her start laughing. Rebecca thinks, “I wonder if they are laughing at me. I doubt it. They wouldn’t even see my legs from the back of the bus and anyway I don’t suppose psoriasis is that funny.” She turns on her MP3 player, reads her book for the rest of the journey forgetting all about the girls at the back. She arrives at her friend’s house feeling relaxed.

It’s the same situation but because the thoughts are different, the feelings and behaviour are different too. Who knows what the teenagers were laughing at? They might have found the sight of Rebecca’s arms and legs hilarious. They might not have.

Which one of those examples would have been most like you? If it is A, then is there anything you can do about it? CBT could be the solution.

We all think all the time. It’s often boring stuff, thinking about what to cook for dinner or who said what to whom at the office. One thought leads to another and to another. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about someone you met on holiday ten years ago and you don’t know what led you there. There would have been a chain of thoughts that led to this one but it’s often hard to back-track as we don’t plan the thoughts. They just pop up, unbidden, automatically, one after another. The first step in CBT is learning to identify these automatic thoughts, spot the unhelpful ones and challenge them. Rebecca in situation A didn’t stop to question her thoughts. She believed her thoughts as if they were the truth. If she had been able to stop her thoughts and challenge them with something like this – “hang on a minute am I jumping to conclusions, could they be laughing at something else?” then she might have been able to carry on with her journey without feeling so ashamed and bad about herself.

This is a very brief outline of CBT but it seems to me to make sense that this kind of an approach would be helpful to people with psoriasis. Some hospitals have started to use CBT with people with psoriasis and a few research papers have been published. You can read more about this in a future post.